Yesterday…

Chris Lambert is now some other bloggers’ problem, and what a problem he’s been.

Mid-2005 was the last time he was the fast-moving collegian the Cardinals selected on the basis of his touches-97 fastball. He touched 91 in the Futures Game that year, and since then Lambert International has mainly been concerned with loading people up via the walk and then sending them airborne on one of the 35 home runs he’s given up in the last two years.

But now he’s gone, and we can focus on the young pitching that has turned out for the Cardinals, Adam Wainwright and Anthony–

Not so fast!

… what!? Anyway, Wainwright and Reyes

Ten strikeouts. Two walks. One hit.

I don’t–I’m not sure what’s going on, exactly, but I’ll be sure to

You know you’re a little worried, now, Dan.

Look, Wainwright’s obviously stepped into the ace role, and Reyes has struggled but

I struck out ten batters in six innings in my first start for the Mud Hens.

I don’t–I refuse to believe it!

You know you’ve been worried about this, Dan. Secretly. Maybe it was just a crisis of confidence!

No! You’re done, Chris Lambert! You’ve yet to pitch well against high minors competition. We could’ve had Phil Hughes! Look, it’s… it’s over now. I just watched that crappy Death Wish remake with Kevin Bacon, vigilante justice is justified if you drive a late-model Ford and look pained enough about it. Done and done!

You may have won this round, Dan Upbaby. But I’ll be back, back where you least expect it. When you least expect me.

Today

Wow–so maybe Kip Wells isn’t the answer. Who knew? I have no idea how Kip managed to allow six runs without walking a single batter, but he did it. And–

Wait, Mike Maroth? Mike Maroth?

Is there any rational justification for this move? No, there is no rational justification for this move. Reyes was awful in his last start, and he’s been mediocre at best this year, but Mike Maroth is so done the fork in his back has another, smaller fork sticking out of its back. Here’s what he’s done since 2006, and what Colossal Disappointment Anthony Reyes has done this year:

        GS     IP  K/9  BB/9  HR/9   FIP   ERA
Maroth  28  163.2  3.8   3.4  1.98  6.35  5.94
Reyes   19  100.2  6.3   3.2  1.16  4.54  5.63

That’s 36 home runs over his last 163 innings, if you’re keeping track. It wasn’t a bad move at all bringing Maroth in, and it won’t be a bad move when some team gives him an NRI and a shot to eke out a little more southpaw voodoo next year. But putting him in the rotation because you’re disappointed with a guy who’s got some potential and is already performing much better? Bad move. Inexplicable move.

Ha, ha.

You… you bastard! Anthony Reyes has nothing to do with this!

We Suckubi take no prisoners.

Tomorrow…

So does this guy ever update on time? Possessing this site is boring.