THE WESTERN CANON, AS SUMMARIZED BY AL SCADUTO'S "THEY'LL DO IT EVERY TIME"
"Ever happen to you, fella, huh? Old sport Schnookly rearranges his life--every last thing--to please that old flame Mygraina... But she forgot to tell him about hubby Dragbutt! Oh, yeah-h-h---!"
Thanks to N. Carraway, West Egg, NY
"The way it is--you'd have to be c-c-c-crazy to wanna fly a fighter, opines feisty Fignewt. Sure, sez Doc Fibbley, there's one way out. What is it? Heh, heh--you have to ask?"
Thanks to D. Daneeka, Staten Island, NY
"J'Ever notice? There's jobs-a-plenty available in Greener Grass County, according to Bureaucrat Barfwel... so you and wife Annoyia pack up and move all the way down there--and they'll say it every time---"That bowl of dust done hit us bad, but we mean like bad, friends!"
So Sez T. Joad, Kern County, Cal.
"It hasn't come to this yet--heh, heh--but give it time! Hard Workin' Ol' Noodnik thinks he hates Bad Boss Brotherio, and gets into all sorts of trouble about it... but, as it turns out, he's a Brother Backer All Along! And the-e-e-eere he goes! Vesuvius about to erupt---!"
Thanx "You-Know-Who!", Eastasia
"Like-it-is Dep't-- riverrun,past Euphonia and Foghorn's, from swerve of shore to bend if bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs. Dr. Splicer, violer d'amores, fr' over the short sea,had passencore rearrived from North Armorica on this side the scraggy isthmus of Europe Minor to wielderfight his penisolate war! N-O No... Wro-o-o-ong--!"
Thanks to H.C. Earwicker, Dublin, Ire.