According to Matthew Leach’s latest, it seems that So So Def has a leg up on Bigbieguez for the starting left fielder spot. Does this make any sense to anybody?

First of all–wait. Before I go any further… why was I not told that So Taguchi had an official website? I mean, I know I can’t read it or anything, but that’s just awesome. I eagerly await “Simontacchipundit.” Anyway, the picture on your right is from said website. Seriously. Apparently, eerie homoerotic caricatures are a big part of Japanese baseball.

Okay, yeah, where was I… first, and most obvious, Taguchi has never hit well enough to be an above-average left fielder. If he was really a Gold Glove centerfielder back in Japan, his .277/.333/.387 career mark there was relatively valuable. But even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s improved as a hitter (despite being on the wrong end of 30 and playing in a stronger league), his career Majors OPS of .751 is mediocre at best. Give him ten runs above the average left fielder on defense–and I might, because the guy has a cannon for an arm–and he’s still no better than average. In fact, even the much-maligned Larry Bigbie outhit him when last he was healthy, and he did it over a full season.

Second, Rodriguez and Bigbie are pretty redundant if they’re both bench players; both are lefties with borderline bats. Rodriguez might be a slightly better hitter, and Bigbie’s a better fielder, but it doesn’t make sense to throw two southpaw corner outfielders on the same bench when you have the prototypical 4th outfielder–suspect bat, range for center, good speed–sucking up at bats in the starting lineup.

I doubt any of them is going to get 500 at-bats this year, especially with La Russa’s love of messing with the lineup, but it just doesn’t make any sense; Tony seems to want to reward Taguchi for what he did last year, but the fact remains that what he did last year wasn’t enough out of a corner outfielder. Bigbie and Rodriguez still both have a shot at putting up impressive–or at least adequate–offensive totals, so why not give them the chance?

But that’s not the worst bit of news that Leach breaks:

In each case, there’s a favorite — but not a prohibitive favorite. …and Junior Spivey is a mild front-runner over Deivi Cruz, Hector Luna and Aaron Miles at the keystone corner. But that’s all subject to change.

So help me God, if Deivi Cruz–the Deivi Cruz that was rated as as many as fifty runs below average on defense, who has posted an OBP over .300 exactly three times in his nine year career–if DEIVI CRUZ wins the second base job over two–maybe even three–players who are his superiors in every way, I will be left with no choice but to stop following baseball forever. Get Up, Baby! will be converted to a site about infant exercise methods, and I will be a broken man. There shouldn’t even be a competition here; Spivey is, by far, the best candidate the Cardinals have. Unless every single defensive metric has Cruz pegged wrong, he rivals Neifi Perez as one of the most hopeless long-term major leaguers of all time. [Note: Cruz does not have his own official website, but I will publish any caricatures sent my way.]